my son is sucking on his bear even as he sleeps.
he's only 18 months old and his cheeks are red as apples and i didn't know being a mother would be this hard. Elizabeth Stone says that having a child is like watching your heart walk around outside of your body, but it's more than that: it's like watching your heart tiptoe near the edge of jagged cliffs, all day long, and you only have two arms and two legs and no matter how hard you try —
you can't get there fast enough. you can't save them.
and maybe you can keep them safe for awhile, but you can't save them from hell, ever. you can't save anyone from hell, ever. you can only pray that the grace of God finds them...(for the rest of this post, please come to Prodigal with me... and don't forget to link up with us tomorrow for Imperfect Prose!)
linking with Jen and Heather today
Thank you for this Emily. I have been learning to trust that God doesn't want our loved ones to fall any more than I do. I've been learning to step back rest in His strength. and it's scary! and it hurts like hell, and it feels like death and sadly sometimes it is death. And sometimes the only thing that helps is trusting that God is good and that He is scorched by the pain too... I've often wondered how He can just sit back and watch this all happen, how He can endure or why He would chose too. Thank God, He has chosen to meet me there! Late one night, feeling like death, God met me there and He let me know that while we are standing on the jagged cliffs, or even tumbling down them, He, at that very moment, is working in the moments where He will heal and restore and redeem those wounds. He has incredible plans for the things we experience and if we are willing to follow He will show those plans to us. So maybe rather than praying that our children, our family, our loved ones will not fall, pray that they might experience Gods power and strength to get back up and follow Him into redemption.... something that haas been on my heart!
ReplyDeleteoh friend, i'm so glad you shared this. what a hard lesson to learn, especially when some of our own family members don't know the Lord yet but it helps so much to remember God loves them even more than i do and is doing everything he can to win them to him... even at the ninth hour. and that he never, ever stops loving them. bless you katherine. xo
Deletesorry, I replied in both places, it wasn't letting me post in prodigal at first, you can remove these posts if you like:)
ReplyDeleteSometimes posts like this one just leave me speechless. Only mom's, like us, get it...
ReplyDeleteWhat it means to have your heart walk around outside of your sleeve.
You are right. This is the hardest thing. I have two grown sons and my most constant prayer is for them to come to know God. I know the price if they do not, and also know I am not in charge of this part of their lives. I do, however, know that God is, and I trust Him.
ReplyDeleteI am always amazed by your writing and how it makes me think. I get bogged down in the details and you help me see a bigger picture.
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