It’s a blue moon tonight and my agent and I are drinking Blue Moon beer to celebrate.
Around me are Pentecostals and Unitarians and Lutherans and lesbians and heterosexuals and males and females and Richard Rohr who’s encouraging us to abandon all labels and put on the mind of Christ and to see each other as equals. And putting on the mind of Christ is prayer, he says. So I try to put it on, but I can’t.
Because, as a human, I can’t do anything divine. Only He can.
And even as Nadia Bolz-Weber is empowering women and Brian McLaren is defying denominations and pastor Yvette Flunder from San Francisco is yelling “Get your God back!”, whether it’s “through the rosary or rubbing crystals”, even as she claims to be a Cherokee Black Irish Lesbian from the pulpit, something is dying inside of me.
Something that used to get all fired up by these kinds of settings. Something that used to come alive at the grace I thought was being preached at these kinds of places, but I don’t know that it’s grace at all.
It’s praise, not grace, and all it feeds is our egos...
(won't you join me at Prodigal Magazine for the rest of this story? but before you do, please link up to imperfect prose on thursdays, in this post here. love you guys.)
(written a month ago at the Wild Goose Festival)
Wow! I'm speechless. This spoke to me like no one has in a while. I realize I need, want his grace. And I want to continue on the path of shrinking my ego and letting all this wrath, anger and harmful thoughts that seem to come up out of no where to simply dissolve like God promises they will. Thank you, Emily. I want to read your book, too. I battled with bulimia (similar to anorexia) a while ago, most likely causing some damage to my throat and esophagus and I still struggle with my weight and my self image.
ReplyDeleteoh kim, i'm so glad it spoke to you. i want his grace too. i need it. yes. you are not alone. and i hope somehow the book brings you comfort... let me know if it helps. bless you, friend. e.
DeleteThank you, Emily. I will. I look forward to reading your book. Blessings to you and your family as well.
DeleteThis post is SO good. SO important. Thank you.
ReplyDeletei'm so glad you enjoyed it friend. bless you.
Deleteit is so refreshing to read your thoughts on this. i'm tired of easy grace. of people kneeling at the cross and then walking away and picking up all the junk again. like christian in 'pilgrim's progress', we need to leave the burden of sin there at the foot of the cross, and walk a different way. freedom is not cheap. freedom is hard. in the old days ('50's, 60's) we were taught to 'crucify the flesh'...and that message has been lost, but it's true. yes, grace is ours. but that doesn't make it alright to - in paul's terms (KJV) 'crucify anew the Son of God'- we need to live holy. preach it, emily!
ReplyDeletethank you friend! i'm tired of easy grace too. for awhile, it was refreshing. now i get sickened by it. funny how God draws us close to him and away from sin this way. so appreciate your thoughts girl.
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