the boy who wants to become superman so he can save his mommy

it doesn't matter how many hugs i give him. how many times i tell him he's handsome in that white sweater--the one he wore to impress the neighbor girl even though he's only four--how many home-canned peaches i serve him nor stories i read.

come night time, it's his mother he needs, and all i can do is lie beside him and put my hand on his back and feel his heart pulling at his skin.

it's only been three days and i know the first while is the hardest, like the three months after bringing home a newborn who feels like a stranger demanding your life and then one day, you wake up and he's become family.

and this morning, they felt like strangers, these toe-headed Filipino boys, the tall one who cried when he lost the stick he'd buried in the snow outside, who hunts tigers in the woods and wants to be superman when he grows up. and the short stout one who is calvin from calvin and hobbes. sticking hands in toilets in guinea pig cage in porridge in baby kasher's mouth and laughing like the way trees lose their leaves in fall, all colorful and free.

and tonight i looked around, and they'd become family.

we pray a lot right now, inside and out. we're teaching the boys how to bow, and they do it over snacks and dessert and sometimes for their mommy, too.

and we're re-learning prayer right now, the way it's kind of a desperate plea when no one's listening and you're wading through toys and dishes needing to be put away and the boys half-dressed and fighting over toys and you look out the window and see a bird in flight.

and that bird becomes your prayer. the way it rides the wind.

and so, as i lie beside him in the dark, this tall boy who wants to become superman so he can save his mommy from all of the hurt she's feeling, i remember that bird. and the way the boys couldn't stop eating pancakes and strawberries that night, and the way they crowded around "uncle trent" after bath for their bible story, all limbs in lap, and it becomes my prayer. all of it.

that this boy will know the fullness of this love and that it will become his mother, here in the dark.


{we're leaning hard on your folded hands right now friends... thank you, for propping us up... will you continue? and if you haven't already, perhaps consider adding this button to your blog, so others might pray, also? ((thank you)) *see button code in the top right-hand column}



*linking with laura, michelle, and jen...*